conversion

so we are finally rid of phony tony. allelujah. a change long overdue. but more importantly the chance for our deceitful (remember weapons of mass destruction anyone?) ex-prime minister to own his true colours.

it seems that the belligerant boy has decided to bite the bullet and come out as a roman catholic. surprisingly it seems the pope is not all that enthusiastic. might be something to do with hubris perhaps? which doesn't readily translate as humility no matter how hard you spin it. or perhaps his holiness is keen to protect his own job. after all tone is looking for career development in a role which reflects his obvious talents and abilities now that he's left gordon behind to pick up the pieces.

it may not come as a surprise that saint tone has waited until now to reconcile his faith with his conscience. after all it could well have limited his personal trajectory as leader of the british government to come out as a papist. especially when dealing with the likes of messrs paisley and robinson. and there is at least one thing he can be relied on for above all others and that is never to let morality interfere with his pursuit of his own personal and political aggrandisement.

it is of no concern to this writer what faith he holds. he could be a buddhist or a baptist or a jew, a muslim or a martian for all i care just so long as he is what he says he is. although i wouldn't complain if he was a buddhist. on the grounds that we might now have less innocent blood on our hands.

of course it may be that his holiness needn't worry too much for the mo. now he's established his credentials god's anointed (not the pope silly, the other one) is being sent to meddle with the middle east. a new testament to the insensitivity with which western governments appear to treat the islamic world. altho could the consensus be that he can't do much more damage there than he has done already? and at least if he's in the middle east he's not burning his brand onto anything else.

and he does like to leave his mark on the things he touches. the uk national health service for one, which has recently had a hefty funding surplus squeezed out of it despite staffing levels that only function if the nurses manage to consistently levitate at least six inches above floor level to minimize frictional drag.

also not forgetting the institution he was elected to lead. re-formed in his image the labour party now attracts the likes of erstwhile minor thatcher minion and iain duncan-smith shadow front bencher quentin davies to jump ship and join his soul mates on the opposite side. these days free-marketeer quentin has more in common with blaire's version of labour than he does with the conservatives. gulp.

this however is history for tone. from here its onwards and, particularly, upwards. with considerations of electability no longer determining his path to heaven perhaps our good ex prime minister will soon re-surface as the natural born tory he's been all along. once having dealt with that minor detail he'll have shaken off the shackles of both religious and political disguise and be primed for forty days and forty nights admiring himself in the hot dusty wastes. then with a toss of his head and the scent of freedom in his nostrils the re-structured holy tony really will have the chance to consolidate his career ... as the virtual saviour of mankind.

so on second thoughts, if he wants to hang onto his job perhaps the pontiff had better look out after all.

and so had his boss.

peace and love.